Thursday, May 22, 2008

A Needed Perspective

The last two days at our home have not be very joyful! Our son has not been behaving at school or at home. It seems that each year at this time David's behavior goes into a downward spiral. This has been true whether we held a birthday party or not, so it's not the party itself that is causing these issues.

Tuesday night we made him go into the backyard and help clean up after I trimmed the bushes. We wanted to make the yard shine for his party. However, during this time he came into the house "to use the bathroom" but when he came out and said Roger had gotten out of his cage. He stated the bunny was already loose when he went inside. We didn't believe this because of the way the cage area looked. So, 45 minutes of catching the bunny left us very unhappy.

Then yesterday I had to pick David up after school due to a detention. When we arrived home a friend was outside talking with Rich so I stayed out as well. After about 20 minutes I told them "the house is too quiet I need to check up on David." I came through the door and Roger was loose again. This time David confessed he let Roger out both days—because he "likes to see him run." The living room was a mess! The litter box had been overturned in the cage with contents strewn across the floor, a blanket that spread across the sofa had been used by David to try and catch Roger (with the litter now all over the sofa) and a food container was upside down with the contents spilling all over the floor. I have to admit I felt like the Lord of Nottingham in "Robin Hood Prince of Thieves" when he yelled "cancel Christmas." If he didn't go to his room I was ready to cancel his birthday party.

Hay was all over the living room (did I mention I'm allergic to hay?), and the bunny was quivering behind a table. And no there are no pictures, since I was trying to control my urge to throttle my son. He was made to come out of his room to clean up much of the livingroom, but I had much more cleaning to do. We also made it perfectly clear this was no longer his pet, it was mom and dad's. He had lost the right to be a pet owner and it will be a long time before he can prove he is responsible enough to care for a pet.

This morning after David went off to school, with a much better attitude then he has had in a while, we saw the tragedy of the Chapman family. Steven Curtis Chapman and his wife MaryBeth have five children, three whom are adopted. Their youngest daughter, Maria Sue, was killed last night in an accident at their home. While several family members helplessly watched, she was struck in their driveway. Maria Sue was transported by LifeFlight, but died due to her injuries. The tragedy is compounded by the fact that the driver of the vehicle was Maria Sue's teenage brother. The brother just hadn't seen the little girl.

My prayers go out to the whole Chapman family, but especially to the brother. What a horrible guilt he must be feeling at this time. I pray he will accept the peace that only God can give.

This tragedy helped me to focus not on the trouble David causes, but on the joy he brings us. That is not to say he won't continue to be disciplined.

1 comment:

Sharon said...

Dear Kim,

Don't lose heart! I know what David did was irresponsible and naughty, but it is not the worst thing in the world. My son's have done similar things and as long as there were consequences and discipline, they did not repeat the offence. Take these opportunities to really have a great talk with him, use scripture and talk about empathy towards others, for example, would you like it if I let the rabbit go and jump all around in your room and ruin your trains? I used to try to reach my kids on their level and that is when they seemed to finally understand. David is a good boy and he does amazingly well expecially considering his ADHD. I would get so frustrated sometimes. My husband and I believe in spanking, but after awhile that doesn't work anymore. We started getting really creative with our punishments like moving all the fire wood and then moving it back. I also started having them write essay's on why it was wrong to do such and such and they had to find three scriptures that related to it. It is so hard being a mother, but you have the Lord on your side and you have His word that you can read and get so much advise out of, especially Proverbs.

You are doing great Kim, hang in there and keep loving him, loving him, loving him, but he also needs to see that other side of you (the disciplinarian).

Bless you and your family,