Sunday, May 11, 2008

Happy Mother's Day

I wanted to wish all the women a happy Mother's day. Before the adoption of our son, this was a very painful day for me. The desire for a child along with the church message about motherhood left me aching and in pain. The talk about motherhood being the highest calling and a blessing was hard to hear since that was an unfulfilled wish of mine. The hardest part was when the Pastor would always ask all the mothers to stand and women all around me would be up, while I remained sitting. I always knew that God's plans were perfect and if His plan wasn't for me to be a mother I had accepted this. However, my heart still hurt for a child to love.

In the years after the adoption of our son, I have spoken to our Pastors and asked that they include all grown women in the celebration of Mother's Day. I am very pleased that our current church has done a wonderful job of this. I didn't even have to speak to the pastor about this and his message was geared to all the ladies in the congregation. All the ladies were presented with carnations, it didn't matter if they were mothers or not.

Our favorite Mommy/son book
Yesterday David wanted to start Mother's Day early by giving me one of his treasured books. When he was in preschool I always liked to purchase at least one book when they sent home an order form. I ordered a wonderful book called "I Love You Stinky Face." This became a wonderful book that we shared often when I read to him each night. There were just two characters in the book—one the mom and the other the son. As the mother in the story tucks her little boy into bed he asks questions to see how much she loves him such as "But, Mama, but Mama, what if I were a super smelly skunk, and I smelled so bad my name was stinky face?" Of course the mother would respond with "...I would hug you tight and whisper in your ear, I love you, Stinky Face." The ending is just as wonderful with "I love you, mama" and "I love you, my wonderful child." This was such a well-read book at our house that David would say the son's parts and I would say the mother's parts.

I think one of the reasons he chose to give me this book was to keep it safe forever. This was a special book for this mother and her son. I also received a beautiful robe, which was put to good use today since the temperature has dropped drastically today.

We went out to eat at Logan's Roadhouse and had a wonderful, but very filling meal. The waitress was busy so another server brought our food to the table. She was a little embarrassed when she went to hand out the food and got it all wrong. I ordered the prime rib, which was delivered first but the two remaining orders were roadie burgers with mac and cheese and the last meal of steak and grilled shrimp. She handed the burgers to David and the steak and shrimp to Rich. The only problem was that the twelve-year-old had ordered the medium rare steak and grilled shrimp, while his father ordered the burgers. David has always had very mature taste in food. In fact, as a three-year-old when a waitress asked him in a very childlike way if he wanted a hamburger, he responded with "Actually I would prefer a medium rare prime rib." he promptly closed the menu and layed it on the table, the menu he had been ordering from had been upside down as he "read" his order.


simplegifts3 said...

I'm glad to hear about your church doing something for all the women to feel special. Women who want children, who eagerly serve in nurseries and children's programs, but have no children of their own are still mothers at heart, and it is good to see them acknowledged. I got sick yesterday, but it was still a wonderful day! Wish I could have eaten out. I would have picked Applebee's.

Anonymous said...

Even though I am the mother of three grown children I avoid going to church on Mother's Day because two children have rejected the Lord (for now) I feel like a failure. During a prayer time with other church members a woman said to me, "God said to tell you 'Not a waste'" She didn't understand why she got that Word but I knew and knew that I needed to work on forgiving myself because God did. Today I'm at peace about it but I still don't go to church on Mother's Day -- still a little painful.
Rita in Oly

Kim said...

simplegifts3- I am so sorry to hear that you are sick. I agree about the women who don't have children are mothers at heart.

Rita- remember your children are in God's hands. We are here to teach them and thats all we can do. I have learned this lesson with my son and homework (not anywhere near as serious a matter), but when teachers have tried to hold me responsible I have to remind them I can't do it for him. If I do everything in my power to help him make the right decision that's all I can do.
I know this still doesn't remove the pain your heart feels. I understand being at peace and still choosing not to attend. I didn't attend Mother's Day services the four years prior to David's adoption. The acceptance is there but the pain remains.
I will be praying for your children.

Sharon said...

I am so sorry Kim that you went through that pain. My heart aches for women who want children and cannot bear them. I am so thankful though that you do have a chosen child and that David is your son! How wonderful that God put you togehter. You are an EXCELLENT mother! I am proud of you for talking to your pastor about honoring all women on mother's day. I pray that my boys and their future wives will be able to bear children. It seems like more and more you hear how hard it is for some people to conceive, it makes you wonder if it could have something to do with our environment, just like autism is on the rise. It is something we should not take for granted. I pray that God will continue to heal your heart.

Bless you Kim!

Hugs, Sharon