Friday, January 11, 2008

The Making of Our Family: Part 2

This is the second installment of our family's adoption story

We had no future contact with the young mother until a phone call four months later—in the month of April. She asked if we still wanted to adopt her baby. Since the conversation we had in January had never really involved us adopting her baby, we were a little shell-shocked. I covered the phone and asked my husband Rich. His immediate answer was YES! So the following day we began the process that normally takes months or years, but would take us one month ... one month for us to become parents. After making our decision to adopt the baby we found that our child would be a son. Since we had filed our our paperwork months ahead of time and attended the mandatory classes, at least we didn't have to start at ground zero.

During this time we continued to pray that God would clearly reveal His will. We also prayed for the young mother, who was making a heart-wrenching decision. We wanted her to know that we would support her decision even if she chose to keep this child. Amazingly enough, our adoption had no glitches or problems. So we continued to prepare both physically for our son and emotionally for the adoption. We were aware that at any time his birth mother could change her mind leaving us with crushed dreams and broken hearts.

The agency kept reminding us that she really wanted to place the baby in the adoptive home at birth, this is usually discouraged by agencies since birth parents can not legally relinquish their rights for several weeks. The laws in each state are different. So we were told that we should just consider ourselves babysitting until after the adoption was final.

As we prepared for our decision, David's birth mother prepared for hers. We met several times and spoke often on the phone during this month. We started to form a bond that has allowed David to see that we truly care for his birth family. We were very privileged that his birth mother wanted us to be a part of his life from the moment of his birth, asking us to attend the birth and even taking a part in it.

When she went into labor she telephoned our home, reaching my husband, who then called me to say we needed to get to the hospital. We reached the hospital in the early afternoon and stayed with his birth mother. We all spoke of our desires for the future of this child, the way God had brought us together, how my husband and I met and fell in love and her personal history that would never have been conveyed in the agencies paperwork. Our son's birth mother's family were not at the hospital, but her mother did come in the evening after David's birth. Finally at 7:02 pm David made his entrance into the world, with me cutting the umbilical cord (very symbolic.)

When he cried for the first time the nurse asked me what his name would be, when I told her, David stopped crying instantly. She said she had never seen that. After I gave David his first bath and he fell to sleep I went back into his birth mother's room, where the nurses were discussing if he should room in or not. Every eye in the room went to me. I felt it was important for his birth mother to have this time if she wanted to, so I told them so. At about 10 pm we went home, emotionally exhausted and very hungry since our last meal had been breakfast. Would the decision to encourage him to room-in make the whole adoption fall through? We didn't know, but we felt she needed time to bond with him and not feel pressure from us

Final installment tomorrow

[The Making of Our Family: Part 1]
[The Making of Our Family: Part 2]
[The Making of Our Family: Part 3]

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