A Lesson in Listening

David is in trouble at school again! He has a three-day suspension. I could almost see it coming, but it wasn’t until today (the second day of the suspension) that I think I know why he’s having such a problem. He isn’t listening. I gave him several easy chores with one- or two-step directives to complete. However, I found that either the steps were not followed in the order I gave them or they were skipped altogether.

So we went over the chore directives and I explained what he didn’t do correctly. David thinks that when he is told that he is to clean out the grill he knows how, because he wants to do it his way. The problem is that when he is finished, his way is not correct. A case in point is when he was to clean out the grill and cover it from our weekend barbecue. He cleaned it out and left the bag of ashes on the grill, the lid left up and the cover on the ground. All these issues had been addressed with the directions. But his mind shuts off after he gets the general concept. This is happening in the classroom when he is given work and then doesn’t listen to hear what the directions are. He then gets upset and angry when the adult tells him he hasn’t gotten it right.

Even though many tell me this is a normal stage in a teen’s life David takes everything to extreme. So I usually have to take my correction to the extreme also to get the point across. After verbally talking to him about the issue and what needs to be done, it has continued. I am now having him sit down every hour with a notebook and I will give him 10 directives. David will have to write exactly what I say without me repeating it. If he missed it, I will say it one more time and he must rewrite it. David really doesn’t like to write so this is also helping with his handwriting skills. I have explained that this exercise in listening will continue until he can consistantly follow the directions we give him the very first time.

This will seriously cut into his fun time until he begins to listen.

The Capitol

The Capitol Building with cherry trees

We arrived at the Capital building and had just a few minutes before our tour began. We began the tour with a film that explained the history of the building and the laws that were passed to change the course of our nation.

One of the statues in the Capitol Building

We had a wonderful tour guide who escorted us through the public areas of the building. The beauty of the building can not be described. There was a purpose and meaning behind all the craftmanship that is displayed. The kids were amazed by the fact that the mural on the ceiling was done with the ceiling in place and the artist had to paint from scaffolding. The painting is of George Washington surrounded by 13 maidens. The sheer weight of the dome as we stood directly under it caused some worried looks—8,909,200 pounds of cast iron. With all this work ceing done long before the mammoth construction trucks we have today.

George Washington and maidens - the Capitol Dome

As I gazed around the rooms we passed through it brought a deep sense of pride in being an American. It also made me wonder what the building would look like if it were designed today. Would we have spent so much time and effort on conveying who we are and ensuring the building would be survive for many generations?

David in front of the Capitol Building

After the tour we walked past the Supreme Court and we had around an hour and a half to see the sights on our own. Of course, David wanted to head over to the Smithsonian's Air and Space Museum. This is always David's favorite place to visit when he is in Washington.

One of the Capitol Building skylights

The bus ride back was very long, in fact we arrive back at the school an hour and a half late.

Boys on the Bus

After a very hectic week of doctor’s appointments—three to be exact—babysitting, house cleaning and prep for our field trip we were ready to roll. We were glad that David’s doctor said he no longer needed to be on crutches. His bedroom lamp was a casualty of a crutch gone astray. The gaping hole in his knee will still take several weeks to heal over. Of course it doesn’t help that he keeps sliding on his knees and reopening the wound. So he had an all-clear for his field trip.

Robert E. Lee House at Arlington Cemetery

So Friday morning I headed out in the pre-dawn hours at the back of a bus filled with 75 thirteen year-old BOYS. There were just two other moms on the bus and they sat in the first rows away from the fray. We had a total of 300 eighth graders heading to see the nation’s capital—two buses of girls and two buses of boys. You wanna bet the person who organized the bus arrangements was on a girls’ bus.

I was amazed at the number of kids who had MP3 players and cell phones, but few had an actual camera. The kids borrowed and tossed their expensive electronics with no regard to how much their parents had spent on them. I allowed David to use my MP3 player on the drive up. Yes, I have one, and no, he doesn’t. He had one and can’t find it so until he can save up the money he will not be receiving another one. The music kept David quiet and content for a good part of the trip. When we got very close he started his seat jumping and I was left all alone.

One of the guards at
the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier

We arrived at Arlington Cemetery and began the long uphill trek to the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier. It was a rough walk because David flips from walking slowly to an almost outright jog up the hill. We stood and watched as the soldiers placed a wreath at the tomb. Years ago there was much more gun twirling than they had on this visit. We were very sad to not see the guns being thrown from one soldier to the other in such crisp movements. But David was impressed anyway.

On our way back down to meet the bus David was running to catch up with a friend. I had just yelled “don’t run” when, splat! David had gone off the sidewalk and slipped in the mud. It had been raining lightly all morning. When David got up his school uniform was a mess—the shirttail, both sleeves, pants and my backpack were covered in a wet mushy mess. Luckily one of the teachers chaperoning the trip was kind enough to loan David an extra shirt he had brought. Of course, this made David stand out since he was the only student not in his school uniform. Only my son!

Cherry blossoms

All boys on board and we headed to the Capital building. The drive over was beautiful. This was the day before the Cherry Blossom Festival and the trees were in full bloom. If you don’t know the history of these unusual trees, it really is interesting, Three thousand flowering cherry trees were a gift from the Mayor of Tokyo in 1912 honoring the lasting friendship between the United States and Japan. In 1981 Washington was able to repay the Japanese kindness when cuttings from our trees were sent to replace some cherry trees in Japan which had been destroyed in a flood.

I will share our experience at the Capital tomorrow.

Where Did My Time Go?

First let me thank everyone for their prayers. David is doing pretty well. Tomorrow is his orthopedic appointment and we will see how well he is healing. Rich plays doctor every night and changes David's bandage while I play surgical nurse and prepare all the needed supplies and pass them to him during the procedure.

David has used this situation to his full advantage. His "invalid" status is pulled out whenever he wants to get away with something—"I can't pick up my dirty clothes because of my crutches." Of course, his crutches weren't a problem when he wanted to pick up a toy just a minute before. Yesterday as he was ready to go to school I caught him carrying his crutches while running trying to get a toy out of the house before I caught him. I caught him and made him put it away.

I am amazed at how much time is taken up with caring for him. I drive him to and from school everyday. Going to get his medicine and bandages and cleaning the wound every night takes up more of our day. Then there are the added chores like taking out the trash that must be done.

David tried to do a lot more playing tonight and is feeling the effects. His knee is not doing as well tonight. This is a lesson I knew he would need to learn by experience.

I am hoping that tomorrow the doctor will say he is progressing well since his field trip is at the end of next week. After all the fighting with the school I am hoping he can still go. Next week will be very busy for us—two doctors appointments, the ladies Bible study, the kids coming over on Wednesday and the field trip so we will need strength to get through it.

The Perfect Weekend

I had it all planned. Rich and I were sitting by the firepit and getting ready to throw some steaks on the grill while David was riding his bike. The temperature was a bit on the chilly side so the pit was a welcome addition to our enjoyment.

Then it happened&emdash;we watched as David took a corner too sharply and CRASH. He looked down at his knee and the screaming started. Rich ran for David while I ran into the house to get a towel to wrap up his leg. Before I made it outside I heard Rich say "It's real bad. We need to go to the hospital." Not what any parent wants to hear. Then the screaming really began. David was pleading and begging with us not to take him to the hospital. When we explained we had to, he asked that we make sure they didn't give him stitches.

Abigail, dressing David's wound

The staff at the hospital was wonderful, even with a full waiting room. It seemed like everyone in town had gone out for enjoyment and came back with an injury. They talked calmly, but honestly with David. When we finally got to see a nurse and she saw the injury, she explained she thought there wasn't enough skin left to sew up the wound. But that would be decided by the doctor. David was very happy!


Before he would let the doctor see his wound he said "In my opinion there isn't enough to sew up. There isn't any flap to pull together. In my opinion it just needs to be cleaned." The doctor took this in good humor since she was so sure David had spoken out his years of medical school training. She agreed there wasn't a need for stitches, but that she wanted X-rays taken to make sure there wasn't a fracture. She was right since he chipped off a piece of his knee. This along with the open wound makes an infection a major concern. So David is supposed to stay off his leg and rest for a week. We are to change the bandages every 24 hours and see the orthopedic doctor at the end of the week.

After just under eight hours we finally made it home and crawled into bed around 2:00 am. We did head out to the local coffee shop on Saturday morning and read while we relaxed.

We called our dear friend Abigail, who is a Registered Nurse, to change his bandage on Sunday. She has graciously offered to come over and change them for us, but we are going to try to take care of it ourselves (O.K. Rich will). It will be a tough week as we try to keep David content and off his leg. But, we are very thankful it wasn't worse.

Field Trip Update

After getting the information on the field trip for the eighth grade field trip in the morning, I was upset by the lack of thought or consideration shown to the special education kids. My anger grew as I received a note from the school stating that due to David's issues I would need to attend also. Along with the $50.00 for David I would need to pay $50.00 for myself if David was to attend.

I called and spoke with the vice principal and was told David wasn't being targeted since the others in his class were told their parents would need to attend if the child was going. She understood that coming up with $100.00 in cash overnight was difficult and she would speak to the principal and the teacher in charge the next day.

Yesterday I waited for the phone call and finally at 11:00 I called. Both the principal and teacher in charge were out sick. So, it should be alright if we wait until the next day and settle the situation then. My question was - would waiting the extra day prevent David from attending since we were told the paperwork and money was due that day. I was told "it shouldn't be a problem." But I couldn't get a firm answer that he would be included if we waited for an answer.

So I showed up at school at 12:40 to eat lunch with David and turn in David's paperwork and his money. I was quite surprised to see the (reportedly sick) principal there. Apparently, he had come in at noon so I was able to speak to him. It was settled that David would attend and I would go to oversee and could pay my fee sometime before the end of the school year. So David will be able to attend.

My concern goes beyond just David. I know that this situation is going to prevent some of the other kids in his class from experiencing the normal childhood experience of a field trip.

An Outstanding Teacher

We received a phone call from David's English teacher this morning. She had two things she needed to talk to me about. As she was telling me how much David has improved over the last five weeks my mind was dreading what the second thing would be. This was the course for many of my discussions with teachers—the "but...." that would follow. I was very glad to hear that he was progressing well in her class without his one-on-one aide.

The second thing was not a but!! During the morning television announcements they reminded the eighth graders that the money and permission slips for their field trip to Washington, DC, needs to be turned in tomorrow. The problem is that no one in her eighth grade homeroom knew anything about it. All these kids are in special education classes and the information for the field trip had not been given to the special education history teacher. The history teacher that is charge of the field trip is out sick today and no one know where the paperwork is. The teacher who called only knows that the papers and $50.00 in cash are due tomorrow.

I will be taking David to school tomorrow in order to talk to the teacher in charge. I want to make sure all the paperwork is completed properly and that the cash is received and a receipt given. I don't want an excuse down the road that prevents David from attending. I don't know if this was just an oversight or an intentional slight to the special ed classes. I will also be speaking to the office about this issue so that it doesn't happen to others in the future.

I am very happy that David's homeroom teacher has looked out for her students. She has always gone above and beyond what is in her "job description." She has a loving heart and a level head. His one-on-one has also agreed to go on the field trip with David. These individuals are a big reason that David is doing so well.

It really upsets me that the kids who are in special education are often forgotten. This has happened before. One year after buying a yearbook and waiting months for it we found that even though David's picture was taken it wasn't in the yearbook. I went to the parent who was in charge and questioned her. They had forgotten to add the special ed classes. I demanded our money back and then asked her how she would feel if her child were left out. I reminded her that just because they had issues didn't mean that the parents loved them less or that they shouldn't be included in a school-wide publication.

Spring Is In The Air

After last weeks snow storm and freezing weather it appeared that spring was not ready to appear. But this week we were able to eat outside one evening and the flowers are raising their heads out of the ground. I love the colors and beauty as the world awakens after the long sleep of winter.

However, the spring in the air plays havoc with my allergies. I have tried lots of different prescription and non-prescription meds to combat them. Unfortunately none have seemed to work for me. Even the doctors have commented that there is nothing more that they can try. So for the last several nights I have slept on the sofa with my head propped up. Not a very comfortable way to get a good nights sleep! But at least I can breathe and not keep poor Rich up all night with my coughing and sneezing.

This also means that the last several days I have had to drag myself from chore to chore because of my lack of sleep. I also keep trying meds to reduce the effects of allergies, which makes me very tired.

Our friends Joe and Abigail called to see if they could come over for dinner last night. We had already issued an open-ended invitation to them so it didn't create any problems. We had such a wonderful time of fellowship and this was the first night that Isabella came over. She was wide-eyed and David had such a fun time showing her his inventions. Now, remember Isabella is not quite 3 months old.

David was thrilled that they came over since our other "kids" are all on spring break. David waits outside for our guests to come and often walks the pretty girls back out after dinner. So the unexpected guests made David's night.

Making Do

In this economy, most of us are looking for ways to use everything we can. So often when we think of leftovers it is with dread that we reheat them and serve to our loved ones. Sometimes I will use leftovers for lunch the next day, but at other times I will freeze them for later use.

About a month ago I froze a quart size container of homemade spaghetti sauce, alas too little to make a meal and too much to just toss out. So I pulled it out along with some tart sized pastry shells that I already had in the freezer. I baked the shells according to the directions just long enough to brown them, then scooped the spaghetti sauce into the shells and continued to bake. After the sauce was heated through I sprinkled some shredded cheese on top and left them just long enough to melt the cheese.

The response from my family was a request that I make this again in the future. It was so easy to make and required very little in the amount of pots and pans needed. David even asked that I keep the last uneaten one for him to eat tomorrow. So, leftovers don't have to be boring or ho-hum because with a little creativity it can be a blessing for both your pocketbook and the time spent in the kitchen.

Snow Day

The sky has opened up and dumped loads of snow onto us. We have gotten used to not having much snow since the mountains tend to block the storms from hitting us hard. Yesterday evening we received rain and snow but by the time we went to bed everything just looked wet and cold with no white covering. The schools called last night (yes, there is an automated system that calls parents to let us know) telling us that there would be no school today. We didn't inform David of this because he would have been up at 4 a.m. to take advantage of extra play time.

But during the night I woke up several times due to brightness that was streaming into our room. Looking out this morning I was amazed at the total coverage of snow on everything. It is so beautiful!