Field Trip Update

After getting the information on the field trip for the eighth grade field trip in the morning, I was upset by the lack of thought or consideration shown to the special education kids. My anger grew as I received a note from the school stating that due to David's issues I would need to attend also. Along with the $50.00 for David I would need to pay $50.00 for myself if David was to attend.

I called and spoke with the vice principal and was told David wasn't being targeted since the others in his class were told their parents would need to attend if the child was going. She understood that coming up with $100.00 in cash overnight was difficult and she would speak to the principal and the teacher in charge the next day.

Yesterday I waited for the phone call and finally at 11:00 I called. Both the principal and teacher in charge were out sick. So, it should be alright if we wait until the next day and settle the situation then. My question was - would waiting the extra day prevent David from attending since we were told the paperwork and money was due that day. I was told "it shouldn't be a problem." But I couldn't get a firm answer that he would be included if we waited for an answer.

So I showed up at school at 12:40 to eat lunch with David and turn in David's paperwork and his money. I was quite surprised to see the (reportedly sick) principal there. Apparently, he had come in at noon so I was able to speak to him. It was settled that David would attend and I would go to oversee and could pay my fee sometime before the end of the school year. So David will be able to attend.

My concern goes beyond just David. I know that this situation is going to prevent some of the other kids in his class from experiencing the normal childhood experience of a field trip.

An Outstanding Teacher

We received a phone call from David's English teacher this morning. She had two things she needed to talk to me about. As she was telling me how much David has improved over the last five weeks my mind was dreading what the second thing would be. This was the course for many of my discussions with teachers—the "but...." that would follow. I was very glad to hear that he was progressing well in her class without his one-on-one aide.

The second thing was not a but!! During the morning television announcements they reminded the eighth graders that the money and permission slips for their field trip to Washington, DC, needs to be turned in tomorrow. The problem is that no one in her eighth grade homeroom knew anything about it. All these kids are in special education classes and the information for the field trip had not been given to the special education history teacher. The history teacher that is charge of the field trip is out sick today and no one know where the paperwork is. The teacher who called only knows that the papers and $50.00 in cash are due tomorrow.

I will be taking David to school tomorrow in order to talk to the teacher in charge. I want to make sure all the paperwork is completed properly and that the cash is received and a receipt given. I don't want an excuse down the road that prevents David from attending. I don't know if this was just an oversight or an intentional slight to the special ed classes. I will also be speaking to the office about this issue so that it doesn't happen to others in the future.

I am very happy that David's homeroom teacher has looked out for her students. She has always gone above and beyond what is in her "job description." She has a loving heart and a level head. His one-on-one has also agreed to go on the field trip with David. These individuals are a big reason that David is doing so well.

It really upsets me that the kids who are in special education are often forgotten. This has happened before. One year after buying a yearbook and waiting months for it we found that even though David's picture was taken it wasn't in the yearbook. I went to the parent who was in charge and questioned her. They had forgotten to add the special ed classes. I demanded our money back and then asked her how she would feel if her child were left out. I reminded her that just because they had issues didn't mean that the parents loved them less or that they shouldn't be included in a school-wide publication.

Updates

This week has been a bit busy, if you hadn't already guessed.

First, still no one-on-one for David. This is very upsetting and frustrating for all of us. The school has tried to send an aid as much as possible and I am thankful for this. But, since it is not a consistent one-on-one I am not able to have an on going dialog. This is so important so we know when problems occur and don't learn about them two or three days later after more problems are then piled upon the first issue. Since the one-on-one is not listed in his IEP they are not required to get one in there immediately. The reason it's not listed is due to the way school issues are paid for. If it was written in the IEP it would have to be funded through the cities special education money. Since this is a service funded by a FAPT team it can't be written in the IEP. Aargh!

Yesterday we began our home school civics class with David in earnest. We had already used the wonderful "School House Rock" DVDs last week to teach him how a bill becomes a law and also the preamble to the constitution. I still remembered these songs from my own childhood so I know how well it works. After I mentioned the fact that all the School House Rocks were on DVD she went out and bought them too. She said she hadn't even thought about it, but the kids love them.

Last night we had a great group over for dinner. We served nine with homemade pizzas. Actually we made and rolled out the dough and they were required to assemble the pizza with what they wanted. I went to the city market and got fresh veggies. We had toppings for them to make whatever they wanted- except mushrooms. Rich and I are both highly allergic to mushrooms so that was not on the menu. The two young ladies that have just started their first year of college were so happy to have a home cooked meal. The newness of leaving home for the first time is wearing off a little.

I have been busy planning Abigail's baby shower. Though her baby isn't due until December there is so much that is going on then we felt it was best to go ahead with it. Abigail's baby is due the same time another girl at church is getting married so we also have her shower to plan. We also wanted to keep both showers away from Thanksgiving. Abigail and Joe do not know (or at least are not sharing) the sex of their baby so the theme is "An old Fashion Childhood." Rubber ducks, Little Golden books, Dick and Jane books and building blocks. My friend Stacy is making the cake and I can't wait to see and taste it.

I also have been busy with the Liberty Godparent fund raiser. I will share our total with you tomorrow.

Best Laid Plans

First the good news
We had a meeting at the school yesterday afternoon in which we adjusted some of David's classes. He will go from special education social studies to advanced social studies. We did this with his science class last year and we were very pleased with the results. Most advanced classes have a high ratio of girls, which David loves. Whereas there is a higher ratio of boys in the special ed classes. David is still in advanced science and enjoyed the Skittles experiment he did with his lab partner yesterday. They then had to eat the evidence. He begins his advanced social studies class today.

We are very thankful for David's case manager at school. She is taking pro-active steps in managing his schedule and potential issues.

Now the bad news
When I returned home from the school meeting I got a message from the agency that provides David's one-on-one. You know, the one that is supposed to start with David today. They have not heard back from her since Tuesday. She was to bring in her paperwork and all the forms. She has not returned their phone calls and they can't get in touch with her. This is the second person they hired to work with David this summer who has done this. They have never worked with him and I have to wonder if his old one-on-one has been talking behind backs.

The agency has no one to work with David. So what to do? I am working with the school and we may go back to a day treatment counselor. We tried that last year at the beginning of the school year, but since they could only work with David for two classes this didn't work. David has grown up a lot and is behaving much better in school—in fact, the sub one-on-one that was with him yesterday didn't even have to go into two of the classes with him. I also feel that the teachers he has this year as a whole are much more equipped to deal with him.

This may actually be a blessing since we may be pulling supports out faster then we had planned. The question is if David is ready to have these supports removed.
This morning has been taken up with phone calls, e-mails and prayer for this situation.

A Tale of Two Notebooks

Normally on Mondays I stay at home and clean. However, yesterday was a run-around day. David's prescription needed to be refilled and while I was out I got some of the supplies on our list for vacation.

Also last year, since we didn't know which school David would attend until the Friday before school started, we had trouble getting many of his school supplies. Not so this year. I got his school list several weeks ago and the school supply sale ads began to appear this week. So I took my list and purchased not one, but two of everything David would need on the list. Now, I know this sounds like overkill but trust me it isn't.

Our saga began the weekend before school started last year. Half the supplies were nowhere to be found. The supplies that I could find were not on sale (go figure)! After driving all over town and finally coming up with some items that would "just have to make due" until the stores got new shipments in, we were ready on Monday morning.

Of course you know the game, the students get to school and there is a whole other list that must be purchased on top of what was already bought. At the end of three weeks David had lost his large notebook binder—with all the dividers, paper, pencils and calculator in it. By this time he had also broken the zipper on his backpack. So a whole new trip to purchase supplies, less then a month after school started.

Over $250.00 worth of school supplies between both sets. I really got upset when one of David's one-on-one's a few weeks later suggested a different type of binder for him that might work better. I firmly stated he had his supplies and that would be the last that we would be purchasing for some time.

They were already aware of the outlay in funds that we had already flowed from my purse. So I came up with an alternative. I took supplies to each class and left them there for him. He would not be able to lose or doodle them away between classes. The teacher could also let us know when he was running low.

We also had to buy many extra boxes of tissues. Each teacher had a box on their supply list. So David went with six boxes ready to give to each teacher. But the plan went awry when he gave all six to the first teacher. I then tried to explain that they were to go to all his classes, I was not donating enough tissues for the entire class. David had tried for a week and the tissues were never returned to him and he wasn't comfortable demanding them back from a teacher.

I eventually had to go in myself to collect the extra boxes and take them to the correct teachers myself. The final count on notebook binders was three for the school year and three backpacks. David did become more responsible with his supplies as the school year progressed. I think he was so concerned about the new atmosphere and what was expected that the supplies were the least of his worries.

So this year I purchased two backpacks (a great buy-one-get-one-free deal). Two calculators—one for home and one for school. Lots of extra spiral notebooks, notebook paper and pens.

I thought I found a great deal on the binders at $5.99. There were a whole row of binders that had the label $5.99 under them. But when I got up front the cashier rang them up as $15.99, a big difference. So I explained they were marked $5.99 in the back. She called a worker in that department who agreed they were put out in the wrong place, but they would cost $15.99 if I wished to purchase them.

Since the likelihood is that David will lose one within days of beginning school I really didn't want to spend that much. And even though the employees had placed the items in the wrong place I wasn't going to make a fuss. After all, we all make mistakes. But, I still needed a binder so I paid for my other purchases and made my way to the back corner on the opposite side of the store again to find a binder.

Can you imagine my surprise when I got back there and found that the sign had not been removed and the binders where still listed at $5.99. The employee who had agreed that the binders were misplaced had left them in the wrong spot. So I grabbed one of the binders and went back up front, but the closer I got to the register the more upset I got. How many people are picking up this great buy and not noticing that the price was not what was expected. Or figuring: "I'm not going all the way back for that one item."

So I went to the same cashier and asked to speak to a manager, after explaining to the manager the problem he gladly offered the $15.99 binders at the $5.99 price. He also got on the walkie-talkie to get the problem corrected in the back. Mistakes are understandable, but leaving the mistake after knowing that the mistake exists and customers are being mislead is another thing.

So this year I got two sets of school supplies for about $100. instead of the $250. I paid last year, so I am one happy camper. When I got home I promptly got David's backpack ready and labeled for the start of school.

Today is the last day of summer school, so David is a very happy boy. On to the eighth grade.

A Long Awaited Answer

Have you ever been in a position where you couldn't plan ahead due to another's plans? That is what we have been going through for over two months now. We have been holding off on planning our vacation because of school issues.

School ended on June 12th and most families had already long ago made their summer plans. Not us and it isn't because I'm not a planner but because so many school issues were still left unresolved. I began the "bugging" process on June 13th (the first day with no student distractions.) "When will summer school be and for how long?" along with "When will our FAPT meeting be?"

The answer to the first question was "we don't know, you should get a letter sometime in the next week or so" and the next was "Sometime in August." I already knew David would receive ESY (extended school year from July 7th into late August, but knew we could reschedule the hours the teacher was to be with him.

Our summer school letter arrived about a week later saying I would need to go on the 23rd of June to sign David up for summer school and it would be two weeks long either the first two weeks of July or the last two weeks. They would tell me once I enrolled him.

Then the next day I received a phone call from the school that stated David would receive home bound summer school and didn't think I should need to enroll him on the 23rd. These were very conflicting messages so I contacted the head of special education...again...and asked him.

I finally got my answers about summer school on June 23rd. No I wouldn't have to enroll him and it would begin on July 1st, for four days a week the entire month of July. However, it wasn't until June 30th that I finally got a return call from the home bound program confirming and scheduling a time for them to come. There went June and July, the school year begins August 25th so we have a three window.

But there is still the FAPT meeting that has to be done in one of those weeks. If you aren't familiar with FAPT it's a different funding source that the school works with. "The Family Assessment and Planning Team" (FAPT) develops service plans for eligible youth and families and reviews cases funded by the Comprehensive Services Act to determine progress, prepare transition plans, and adjust services as needed."

The FAPT works differently from IEP in many ways but three very important differences specifically affect us. First, that they have a set budget for the year (no money, no services—even for a dire need). In special education if the need is there they must provide the service. The second difference is that without a parent there the meeting doesn't take place. And third, they only meet one day a week since they have many agencies that must be present at the meeting (social services, school personnel, court services). I have attended meetings where ten different agencies were represented.

Our need for the FAPT meeting was to fund the cost of David's one-on-one that needs to begin on the first day of school. We began asking for a FAPT date from the school in May. On June 13th I went to the school to request the date in person. There were two more calls to the school requesting the date.

On June 30th I contacted the school official and explained that we needed to know the date in order to schedule our vacation. I was told the paperwork was being completed and we should know "soon." July 9th I sent an e-mail again requesting the date. I received a response on the 14th saying "I'll check on it." I also contacted the individual at the school offices and was told she would check.

So, this past Monday I sent an e-mail to the school official and the head of special education and explained the history of trying to get this date. I then went on to explain that since I have tried to arrange our schedule to meet their needs and am receiving no information in return it was now their turn to work around my schedule. I gave them until Tuesday to give me a date or I would schedule our vacation and they would work around us. I received a phone call on Wednesday (hmm) with apologies all around. Since we have already been to FAPT many times and have well documented our need for the one-on-one there is no need for a meeting.

So I will be very busy finalizing our plans for vacation—Pigeon Forge, Tennessee. My husband's boss has been great about allowing him the time off on such short notice (since they are usually required to give three months notice). We will be looking for a rabbit sitter for Roger to check on him during the week. I have found a great deal at a great family hotel, a week for $460.00 (including taxes). The hotel has free wifi services so we can post pictures during our trip, so that we can share our trip with you. We won't be going as far as we have in past years (thank you gas prices).

No Need to Attend

Last week I received another phone call informing me that due to the unstructured last week of school it might be best to keep David at home this week. This is not the first time I have received one of these calls, the first came at Thanksgiving break, followed by Christmas, Spring break and now end of school.

I really resent these calls. The law mandates the number of hours a child under the age of eighteen must be educated. Encouraging me to keep my son at home instead of at school goes against what is encouraged in other students. It was explained that because this last week of school would be more unstructured with movies and fun time it wasn't necessary for him to attend. We were also told to send a snack for a movie in first period if he did attend. What a wonderful way to begin the school day, hyped up on snacks.

I called the vice principal this morning and explained that the teachers are still being paid to educate the children and if the students need structure it is their job to maintain it. I also explained (again) that my job is to look long-term. When my son is employed and has a scheduled vacation in two weeks he will not be allowed to take off the weeks prior because it might be too hard to concentrate.

I was informed by the vice principal that David is going to proceed to the next grade. He has only failed one course and a student is only held back if two courses are failed. I asked what he needs to do in order to go into summer school to pass the math course that was failed. It will be interesting to see if we are told he does not have to attend, since he is in special education. Non-special education students must attend summer school, but I have been told that special ed students are not required to pass in order to graduate to the next grade.

Overall we have been very pleased with this school year, both with the school's willingness to work with us and with David's progress and growth. But, I feel if we had not been so willing to do our part as parents while explaining our reasons for decisions and expectations and followed up with the school on their part this year could have had very different results. David has had some great teachers, but also some that should not have been working with special education students. We have had many false starts with one-on-ones, but it looks like there will be a new one next school year.

A Little Tough Love

Today marks day three of David's three day suspension. It's been very rough and today he thinks that he is going to just refuse to do the work I have layed out for him- mostly folding laundry. He has spent his life getting around rules at school by either avoidance (sleeping) or open defiance. Those are his tactics today, but he isn't dealing with the school he's dealing with mom. We have had a very rough morning with his attitude and defiance, so desperate times calls for desperate measures.

It's Hammertime (ok I'm showing my age) but you either have to laugh or cry and I know that he would prefer me to cry, since this would mean he wins. So after telling him to fold the laundry (for more than the 10th time) and him just laying there and telling me he was too tired I grabbed a hammer and hotwheels and started to pound, outside on the porch. I'm very shocked but, this child who was too tired to fold laundry wasn't too tired to jump up and run to try to stop me. After making him throw away the mangled car I then tell him that everytime I have to repeat a request he will lose another car. I am happy to report that he folding laundry even as I blog.

This is not the way I imagined parenting my son and it just breaks my heart that I must take actions such as this to get his attention. But, I would rather take these measures than let him go down the road that he has chosen so far. This is also the child that the behavior treatment center, after 18 months, said they could do nothing more with. So if I have to break a few cars to make him understand that he must follow the rules of the house then so be it.